Monday, January 14, 2013

No Turning Back

This past Saturday evening, I was mistaken for a single person. It was at an evening social event at my synagogue, and I had already dropped off my daughter Bella in the room with the kids' activities (the younger two girls were at home with Josh). I walked up to a group of people whom I didn't know--two men and a woman, all in their twenties--and introduced myself. After all, this was a social event. (Kudos to Town and Village Synagogue for organizing an event-- a whiskey tasting--that attracted people of all ages.)

The woman, tall and with shiny long hair, greeted me with, "It's great to see another young adult here!" 

I'm 37, but that's not the main reason why I had to object. "I'm afraid I'm not a young adult," I said. "I have three kids." The woman and her companions registered the mistake, perhaps taking in the grey hairs sprouting wildly at my part. "But at least none of them are clinging to my leg at the moment," I added, smiling. Bewildered smiles in return. Time for a whiskey.

Given that on most days I have some combination of my three daughters in tow as I traipse around the city, I don't believe I am mis-categorized often. I am firmly in the mom category. Last week in a doctor's office with two of my kids, the receptionist repeatedly (to my extreme irritation) called me "ma'am".  I'm completing my first decade as a parent this month, as Bella will turn ten. (I had put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence, but then I thought better and removed it. After all, what's shocking to me is, in fact, commonplace. Kids grow up. Haven't you seen Facebook lately? No need to blog about it...) 

What am I doing here, then? I'm interested in exploring the hows and whys and whats of people turning into parents. There's no one moment when that happens. I remember when I was laboring with Bella, and the contractions were becoming more painful and intense. I was half-way up Mt. Everest, and there was no turning back. I knew that I was in for something terrible and awe-inspring and new, and it would take everything I had to get through it, and then some. 

The day I became a parent, 10 years ago.

This blog will be a place to reflect on what it means to become a parent. The high and lows of pregnancy, the messiness and ecstasy of birth, and the chaos of new parenthood encompass a magical, fleeting time. If you're living that right now, expecting a child, wondering what's coming, welcome to the foothills of the mountain. I'm fascinated by that part of the journey, and will have much to say about it here. As for the journey beyond, there will be words about that, too, as I'm still living it. 


  1. this is great, really excited to see more!

  2. Totally disagree on your choice of punctuation. Bella will turn ten! That exclamation point contains the colour of her hair, her laugh, her style, and every single day of the ten years she lived to reach this unique moment. Exclaim away; she deserves it. (And so do you.)

  3. Thanks, Shev. I needed that. Bella is amazing, and it's unbelievable that she is turning ten!!!

  4. Love this. You writing is beautiful. I apparently have been mistaken for a younger adult lately at work despite my coworkers knowing I'm a mom. It's funny to me because I feel like I'm in another universe and they have no idea. I think being around young (and those young at heart) keeps you young though even if you feel 20 years older after many sleepless nights!


  5. Ahhhh the journey through woman to mother. I am proud to say I took a few steps with you Rachel. This is a beautiful testament to that Everest you climbed! Bravo for ten years...bravo for your writing!


Thank you for your comments!